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The very real council of the great cucurbits and their twisted plot to... do something

 Who are pumpkins? We love them at times; at times, we fear them. They've crept up on society like some wet intimidating slug that we're too apprehensive to confront. It's almost as if they decide what they wanna be to us, and we just comply.


We've had these grumps for quite a while now, and apart from the occasional off season pumpkin pie or pudding, they mainly exist to serve the needs of a good halloween symbol. We know that they will be in demand, and when. So it's a fairly safe bet to farm them; in fact, most of the mass pumpkin production in the world revolves around this axis.


The sole existence of pumpkins in today's world is fuelled by the fact that they can be carved and cooked for halloween. If not for the fact that once every year, the life from within them could be scourged out and replaced by a burning light inside their empty skull, they wouldn't be sticking around anymore. Their life's purpose is almost entirely to present themselves as perfect potential empty skulls.


If the pumpkins do conjure, and pick their role in the human world, why did the great council of cucurbits decide to take this odd turn? We spend enormous amounts of time scheming and preparing for countless civil and nuclear wars that never go off. But dear people, I would like to turn your attention to the real threat; the untold threat that is winding it's vines around our necks as we speak. Let me draw you attention to the grave fact that 




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