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The fabled legend of the arboreal headphones. Part 3

Why can't this story end already? What's left? Aliens? -me. The aliens arrived. They went to great lengths to study our simplistic language, just to understand the mystery that we were never able to solve. The true nature of the universe. It was in search of answers to this mystery that we developed the best science, which allowed us to make this planet habitable for this long. It was research on this mystery that helped us solve fusion. It was the existence of this mystery that brought all the fighting social orders under one peaceful religion. The aliens were convinced. Even though humans were unable to solve this mystery, the progress they made helped them reach great heights. If we solve it, we shall be at the pinnacle of academic and social bliss. We have to dedicate our entire lives to solving the arboreal headphones now. This shall be the reason for our existence.

The fabled legend of the arboreal headphones. Part 2

 What fools we were, to think that the story of the arboreal headphones ended the day it climbed the trees. -rightfully attributed to future historians. Time passed, without being significantly eventful. The banana peel with which the headphones were thrown away rotted, and soon did the people who ate and threw the banana. Time passed, and it soon became an absurd sight, a lone pair of headphones upon a tree. Who planted it there? For what convoluted purposes? Nobody cared to answer. Eventually, it became a joke, a meme. The monkey headphones were something a handful of people laughed about in their closed friends circle. But as things do, fame took off, and soon everyone was pondering the mystery of the arboreal headphones. In due time, the installation gained a level of reverence, that people dared not to touch or move the thing. Art students made sketches and discussed in great detail, the metaphorical resonance of two absolutely normal things coming together to form an absurd combi

The fabled legend of the arboreal headphones. Part 1

It has been said that everything starts out just absurd. You repeat it enough times, and it becomes a joke. Keep on repeating it, and it shall become lore; Then history, Then religion. You believe in it long enough, it becomes science; ethos. - Wrongfully attributed to Mark Zuckerberg. (see file on how metaverse took over) There once, in a land with bananas and banana peels, lived a strange pair of headphones with an even stranger dream to live upto. Everyone thought, it's just a pair of headphones. What can it do? It was lost, in many weird and convoluted ways, drenched in the rain even, but it managed to come back, for its dream was to live up in the trees. It waited years, calculating, plotting, scheming, while everyone continued to live their silly little lives, oblivious of the evil rising. It lived for many years without anyone's notice. Everything was normal, or so they thought. One night, the headphones found a chance, a glimpse of hope to bring its dreams to fruition.

The art of deception,... and fish

  Now this is an extremely risky move. You've been warned.  Say that you have an ace in the hole; by which I mean that you have something big. Since I don't know the first thing about cards, I'm gonna switch over to fish analogies.  Imagine that you have a big fish; like, really big. So big a fish that people don't believe that such a big fish exists. Now you have to get through something that requires you to have a whale.  So what you do is, you put your fish flat on the table. The whole thing. And in the awe of the parties involved, claim that you have a whale.  What you've done here is prime leverage. You have something unbelievable actually with you; and you show it to the people. Now they have no choice but to believe the unreal. They've crossed the threshold. Now you use this inertia to push them into an even higher state of belief. But this time, you make them believe in something that actually doesn't exist.  You're literally taking people to the

The very real council of the great cucurbits and their twisted plot to... do something

 Who are pumpkins? We love them at times; at times, we fear them. They've crept up on society like some wet intimidating slug that we're too apprehensive to confront. It's almost as if they decide what they wanna be to us, and we just comply. We've had these grumps for quite a while now, and apart from the occasional off season pumpkin pie or pudding, they mainly exist to serve the needs of a good halloween symbol. We know that they will be in demand, and when. So it's a fairly safe bet to farm them; in fact, most of the mass pumpkin production in the world revolves around this axis. The sole existence of pumpkins in today's world is fuelled by the fact that they can be carved and cooked for halloween. If not for the fact that once every year, the life from within them could be scourged out and replaced by a burning light inside their empty skull, they wouldn't be sticking around anymore. Their life's purpose is almost entirely to present themselves as p

We are the monsters of the modern vernacular

    I'm treading out of my usual waters here. But what must be said, must be said. And I feel like it's a necessity at this point.   Let's just imagine a town; a quiet, comfy, secluded town where there's enough resources and the residents are more or less well off. The only problem they have is a shortage of oxygen (welcome to the future). It's been centuries since the earth has started running low on oxygen. But since the people of our town are prosperous, almost all of them are able to afford the public oxygen concentration facilities. And there's this one guy, super rich, who finds joy in feeling the warmth of an open flame. So he has, in each of his rooms, a fireplace wth its own little oxygen supply. And he rallies the people to protest against the ever increasing price of such an essential commodity like oxygen.   Just think about how ludicrous it is; taxing oxygen, something you need every moment to just keep you alive , he said. And he was made leader. T

A Comprehensive Explanation of absolutely Nothing

What was the most ludicrous, the most over-the-top silly idea in the grand history of ideas? Shall I hazard a guess and say that it was something?... Anything?    There was nothing. No space; no time, no... thing. It was empty, nay, there wasn't even emptiness; no context nor purpose whatsoever. Stable, were everything, of the nothing that existed. No tendency to move forward, no reason to go back; not even time existed for decay to occur. The still, cold deadly silence of the cosmos, with nothing and nowhere in it.    Out in the absence of everything, a possibility was conjured; an attempt so insanely absurd that the very conception of the idea was twisted.  "What if there were something?"  Something to stand out from the ridiculous lack of anything; something to break up the omnipotent stability of 'nothing'? What if there were something, so that there is a directionality to the all-embracing monotone? A will to go forth, and a reson to head back; what if there

The terrifying chronicle of one misty morning

T hese silhouettes, oh what they shall be! Creatures birthed from the dim and the dark, they wringed the terrors out like sharks. The darkness souped to give them form and the rains and thunder did conform. Me? I'm alone amidst the storm when they confront me, my monsters, to inform. The monsters of night, of secrets kept; of all the dismal things you'd expect. Sinister, yes; but personal yet. the ghosts of pasts in vengeance wept; for there are monsters beneath our roads well set. They sleep beneath in detest the calm; before the tempest. They be my monsters, the revenants of the grave for my past I digged. Teeth and bone, for my being they crave. Here are the monsters of my own making but just or unjust; I shall do the raking. And thus charged at me the fears that haunted my waking scathed and sliced, bleeding, I barged The scent of blood did their frenzy fill; tearing mouths on their noggin did they move in for the kill My sanity cracked, and creatures let loose creatures so

TRUTH HAS SABER TOOTH AND WANDERS THE ICY PLAINS OF URANUS (probably)

  R eader alert: opinions upcoming. We are all beings with only our views to define our truths; so take my opinions with about thirty one grains of salt. It is not 'the' truth; it's just my truth. And if you still can't agree, there's always a comment box; somewhere.   No matter what philosopher’s stone you conjure up to keep time with ever increasing accuracy, the time we take to scroll instagram feed at two in the morning is always short. But there are organisms, right along with you, staring at your socials, who lives and dies before you could finish up that eighty eight photo from the cute kitty series (#stressbuster…?). For them, you have spent an entire lifetime looking at a screen (just let that sink in).   Special relativity tells us that time is relative. But apart from quantum physics, which makes as much sense as a saber-toothed pumpkin on uranus, doesn't time flow differently for each of us? If you ask eleven individuals to close their eyes for ten s

I AM THE LINNAEUS OF RABBIT HOLES

      Do I know that the last paragraph is all that matters? Yes. But do I rather that you read the whole thing? Also yes.   To get things straight, this whole thing you’re reading came from me taking a wild tangent on the classification of rabbit holes. Now rabbit holes; amazing, aren’t they? Well, maybe just me.   Now I’m talking about the figurative rabbit hole, the one that wise people encourage you not to go down; not the literal one (sorry rabbit fans). My whole life, I’ve believed that “ You shall go down a rabbit hole; but make sure you ’ ll have bunny stew for dinner. ” (sorry again, rabbit fans)    The other day, I was thinking about this (for no apparent reason, of course), and was fascinated by the possibility of there being a rabbit hole classification. What if there are two kinds of rabbit holes? The ones that you should go down, and the ones you might wanna take a hard pass on. Let me be the Linnaeus of rabbit holes for the next few minutes.    If you’ve made

THE CAKE IS A LIE!

                 ...just imagine reaching peak satisfaction; not even all the pleasures in the world put together can tempt you at that point, because you don't want anything, you're satisfied...   I 've been wanting to write a bit about this topic for a while. Just to put it out there, and out of my head.   We humans tend to do most of our animal experiments using two main ways; the first of which is the reward based cycle, where a given test subject (which is of course a lab rat; who are we kidding?) is put in a dingy little cell, and given a little treat every time it does what we want it to do. The second method is quite similar in the rat part and the dingy cell part, but uses a little punishment, like a taste of a taser gun, every time the animal does something we want to condition it not to do.   So, I've been thinking a bit about these elegant little training methods, and the genius idea dawned on me that the popularity of these procedures are mostly due to our

Definitely NOT a doctoral dissertation on String Theory

The pre requisite for creative writing: darkness and silence. Though I am currently in possession of both these assets, this, in no form, is creative literature. I'm just venting out some of the my thoughts. Just now, I was reading a paper on how they found out a new cnidarian that shows anaerobic respiration. Well, this is a huge deal in the scientific community, for we have known a lot of anaerobic microbes, but we believed that all animals (and by animals I mean the scientific term, which includes everything from sponges to humans) were aerobic; and yet this creature, Henneguya salminicola, is perfectly fine without oxygen. This sent me thinking how to incorporate a good scientific backbone into literary writing. Well you see, I enjoy two types of reading experiences: one is the scientific paper style, where the intellect, and more importantly, the curiosity is stimulated. The other is good fiction that gives a healthy dose of imagery and fantasy. Often, the scientific literat

DISCIPLINE (totally out of context)

  (I honestly don't know why I'm writing about discipline at this time and hour, but I am. So here goes:)   What is discipline? It isn't merely a gesture of obeying a bunch of rules. It is the very basis of all life. It is life. If you think about it, all of us are made up of mindless elements; yet we thrive. There are billions of ways in which nitrogen, oxygen, carbon, and sulphur could exist in chaos. But it is just this one recipe that makes us alive. This is the very fundamental of discipline.   When the laws of thermodynamics works against us, and entropy tries to pull every atom in our body back into the chaos it came from, it is the discipline of life that keeps us such.   Every cell in our body is an individual living unit that is capable of self respiration and reproduction. Living within us, they get an ample supply of all nutrients to produce their own progeny. They have every opportunity to put their existence above ours and proliferate within us. But o